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<title>2. favorite place by sapphicism (ranpoandpoe)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25919623">2. favorite place</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ranpoandpoe/pseuds/sapphicism'>sapphicism (ranpoandpoe)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>playlist of us // tomlex series [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Alex Rider (TV 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Feels, Canon Compliant, Inspired by Music, M/M, Making Out, Mental Health Issues</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 03:35:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>594</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25919623</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ranpoandpoe/pseuds/sapphicism</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“You’re everything I love about the things I hate in me.” (All Time Low)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tom Harris/Alex Rider</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>playlist of us // tomlex series [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1881013</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>2. favorite place</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/xllwood/gifts">mxdnightrose (xllwood)</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>SONG NO. 2<br/>- favorite place, by all time low</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Tom’s smile shone so brightly in that old photograph of the two of them that it felt like the sun; the one that illuminated Alex, who lived in the dark night for so long. Too long. He’d do anything to see him tonight, even ignore the government’s recommendations to not invite anyone over at their secret hiding place. He shares his location with the other boy, accompanied by a winking emoji. Tom would definitely tease him for using an emoji (they were gay, damnit!), but maybe that was what he wanted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It didn’t take long for Alex to get a reply: a simple “on my way” and the shared location. He observed as the space between them gradually disappeared, accompanying the progress through the boy’s selfie that moved in the map way too quickly for him to be on a bike. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe inviting the boy over was impulsive and reckless, but they were teenagers! That was their brand. But maybe he was wrong, but… the time to regret was later, a problem for future Alex Rider. And when Tom left the car in front of the house and started running towards him, all the concerns disappeared.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You came quickly,” Alex commented. “Thought you were coming on the bike.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Too eager to see you, the Uber drive was worth it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex smiled as he took Tom inside as fast as possible so he could kiss him. Maybe he was wrong about the whole situation, but Tom sure was the perfect escape at the moment. “I love your lips… have I ever told you that?” He whispered during the pause where they searched for air. “You’re everything I love about the things I hate in me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tom’s eyes suddenly got full of concern, because he knew that was the truth. Alex hated being a spy, but he loved the way Tom would talk about it like he was a superhero. Even though there was nothing super about him, only a broken boy. He hated the fact that he had too little free nights, but loved them, because they were filled with Tom’s laughter, and his kisses. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And especially, he hated how empty he’d become. His personality was… dull. For years, Alex had been what others needed. For Ian, he was the son and for Jack, he’d be the humoristic distraction from the college’s hard tests; but mostly, Alex worked for the government. He didn’t quite remember how he’d gotten into this mess and which wrong choices he did, but convinced himself that it didn’t matter how. What mattered was that now he was a soldier; he had to be. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And one thing he’d learned was that soldiers didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel. </span>
  </em>
  <span>At least, not the good ones which was what he aimed for. Good soldiers couldn’t cry or be weak while being tortured in an interrogation; good soldiers couldn’t have interests or attachments, because the enemy wouldn’t hesitate to use them against you. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex hated it, hated what the way life shaped him, and the way he shaped himself. Everyone that knew him, knew a different Alex Rider and even though the version Tom saw was the most accurate so far, it still wasn’t everything, just a small fragment. And Alex felt fake, a liar, and hated that part. But Tom loved it. Tom loved everything Alex despised about himself, and he didn’t know whether he should feel better or worse about it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So, as they lied down and their playlist played in the background, Alex repeated, begged, implored, in a scream inside his own head: </span>
  <em>
    <span>fix me.</span>
  </em>
</p>
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